Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
