Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
