I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
