This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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