I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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