The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
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