I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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