we have pet lesbian snakes
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize