yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize