and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
