you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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