Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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