Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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