Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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