I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
