come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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