Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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