I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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