I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
