Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
