But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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