One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
