Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
