I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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