it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize