The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
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I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
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Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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