It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
