I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize