She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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