OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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