You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
