i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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