I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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