pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
