"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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