Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
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According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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