Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize