I think my vagina is haunted
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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