we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
