I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
there is glitter all over my balls
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
