Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
