Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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