I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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