I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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