A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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