Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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