and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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