Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
