We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
