we have pet lesbian snakes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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