Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
