dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
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yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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