there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
