the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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