Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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