considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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