Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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