the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I AM VODKA MAN
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
